Exaggeration

For those that know me well, it is probably common knowledge that I tend to tell a story with some flare. In that attempt to gain flare, I might occasionally choose wording that places drama, maybe even an overly dramatic effect on the story. I don't ever stretch the truth, the story is real, but potentially a little hyped up. My audience never seems to mind, in less my beautiful wife is in that audience. She tends to "bust me out" if she deems it necessary.

In my plight towards this assignment in Sweden, I made a trip to this fine country to gain knowledge of my job and to set up life support systems. These systems included; looking for a home, answers to medical support questions, discovering the truth to the rumored $10 per gallon gasoline, researching the size of parking spaces, exploring options for Mia's schooling, and just plain putting a picture to the minds eye picture of what life in Sweden will be like in reality. Due to some of the high level importance to these details, I decided to purchase a fare for my lovely best friend, biggest critic, and gorgeous wife. There was no way I was going to leave her out of the face to face question and answer periods that would occur during the trip. I am highly aware that the male and female brains operate in a much different manner. I wanted her on site to ask questions and hear first hand the answers to said queries.

I will forever be happy with that choice. My experience during that visit caused my brain to have expectations, ones that now seem to be a total bust. I now also realize that a vacation or visit in a location is far from the reality of actually living in that location. I came back to Ft. Riley and was happy to share with my buddies and colleagues the facts of my visit. Facts that now seem to be categorized back into the old Hastings yarn spinning form that might be now considered to be nothing more than a large exaggeration. The very first example happens to be the genetic superiority of the Swedish people. In my fact reporting to colleagues, I reported and whole heartedly believed that every single Swede, male or female, was incredibly good looking. On the trip, others also noticed that the women were void of thighs or large buttocks. In other words, not only were they good looking, but had model bodies to match. In the present, I can sadly report the truth after living here a short time. There are plenty of unattractive, large thigh carrying, ugly people here in the far north of Europe.

I was completely prepared to encounter darkness for twenty hours a day in the three meter snow covered ground. We even purchased three brand new sets of cross country skis, complete with the newest technology. I entertained the thought of using them to transport myself over the frozen land to my place of work. In reality, we landed to green grass, zero snow, and hours of light and darkness that were not far off from that at Ft. Riley, Kansas during January. I had been informed back in November that normally there was up to a meter of snow and that by January it would be two to three meters. Now, I am somewhat of an international traveller, have lived in other countries outside of the friendly confines of the USA. I spent a year in South Korea, over three years in Germany, too much time to think about in the Middle East, but still I am no expert in the ways of the metric system. I can recall from my youth that a meter stick is slightly longer than a yard stick. I had to be much faster to avoid the swing of a meter stick from my elementary school principal than the swing of a yard stick. To compare those two sticks and then pile them two or three high, it all just adds up to being a butt load of snow. Now it is early March, the sun begins to light up my bedroom before the wretched alarm clock goes off at 0615 Monday through Friday morning.

I also loudly and proudly announced to those in ear shot at my former place of assignment, that the Swedes are not about working very hard. Though I find that to still be true in comparison to the uniformed men and women of the US Army, there was still an exaggeration to report. In more detail, it was the schedule of the work day that needs to be adjusted to keep my integrity in check. I was of the belief that a normal work day began at 0730, was then stopped for a practice known as Fica at 0900-1030 prior to resuming until the required lunch period of 1130-1300. Don't be caught at work past 1530 or there would be a discussion with the commander. I neglected to mention the 1430 Fica break. This all seemed laughingly outlandish, but I was completely ready for that "exhausting" pace. Well again reality has been occurring for nearly seven weeks and the above schedule is only remotely the same as I had previously described. The days definitely begin at 0730, there is for sure a Fica break at 0900, but it seems to last until only 0915. That time has been extended assuming there was either a great story in progress or discussion of a work related event on the table. It certainly does not continue until 1030. I have noticed that the Fica break is guarded and highly prized amongst the Swedish Armed Forces, but it is not attended if other work priorities are in the way. The beginning of lunch period begins at 1130 and only extends for an hour as normal. I have noticed that the building begins to be pretty lonely around 1645 and not the anticipated 1530. When we are flying it is a much different schedule.

So far the flight periods here are much different than a normal unit and much more similar to the flight periods at Mother Rucker in Alabama. There is a morning flight period. This begins with a telephonic/power point conference that is attended by all the units across Malmen Air Base and the nearby Saab airfield. The weather, NOTAMS, ATC, and airspace restrictions are announced in this very formal brief at exactly 0740 every morning. The aircraft need to be on the ground no later than 1130 to complete the morning "sortie". There is another briefing of the same nature again at exactly 1235 with aircraft needing to be handed over to maintenance at 1530. The next briefing covers the weather and other information for the night period and begins at 1600, all flights must land prior to 2200.

The TAFT has been doing plenty of "sorties" with our Scandanavian counterparts. It has not been uncommon so far to fly in all three periods. Yes, arrive for the 0740 brief, catch all three briefs and depart for our rented mansions after 2200. This was my experience all this last week. Behind closed doors, there was some American head scratching going on in terms of our Duty Day. We certainly didn't want to appear as whiners or whimps, but we were attempting to keep to a somewhat normal duty period for an American Aviator in accordance with normal unit SOPs. We collectively decided that a 14 hour duty day was not that big of an inconvenience and most importantly not an unsafe situation. After all, I am an AmeriCAN and not an AmeriCAN'T. Either way, this has proven to be another myth buster from my late fall visit here in Sweden. A quick exchange in Swenglish concerning duty days revealed initially that Fica in the morning and afternoon in addition to lunch are not considered part of the duty day. What we did discover is that a flight Duty Day is normally no longer than 14 hours and it begins with arrival for duty and ends when released from all military activity to go home. If the day does not include flight duty, the two Fica breaks and lunch are not only not counted in the duty day, but they are not paid for that time either. This was an eye opener for the three Americans. When we demanded to work through Fica, there was much Swedish secure communication occurring around us. We were unavailable for concern as we wanted to complete the work and not stop for coffee, in retrospect we are sorry for the obvious offense.

Again, as with any military from any country around the world, there are long and high paced days. To be honest, they have been few are far between which makes me thankful as I have been going mad with boredom while nothing needs to be demonstrated in the helicopter or in front of a computer to write new regulation.

My closest colleagues will be laughing at me if they actually ever read this blog. It will not surprise many that my first reports were a little in the unbelievable column, but at least I am coming clean with these exaggeration busters now.